the need for guidance

teach me the Love that is evergreen ...

teach me to remember that which I always knew,
but had forgotten

and

teach me to forget that which I should have never known
in the first place

First White

The first white flowers have appeared on my little peace patch on Mark's allotment. The small white specks, still damp from recent rain, were nestled amongst the dense green growth.

I spent a couple of hours today, on my knees, digging up weeds on the plot next to the runner beans. The weeds were easy to dig up, as the soil was so rich, soft and crumbly - a bit like muscovado sugar. I accumulated 3 buckets full of weeds to be composted, and now the ground is ready to be planted out.

I felt the cold, damp soil through my blue denim jeans as I kneeled on the earth; I breathed the air, felt the wind flurrying under my green cap, and drank the warmth of the sun.

I reflected that I seem to spend so much time 'biding for spring', as if I'm waiting for something to happen, and it never does.

I also reflected that this biding is accompanied with a gentle but persistent, underlying and prayerful, yearning to feel a sense of 'spring reawakening' in my life. That there is an inherent and intrinsic need in me to feel some form of spiritual acknowledgement, confirmation, (re)assurance, affirmation, recognition and consolation ...

Whilst I was kneeling down, I thought that perhaps I have moved forward a little bit - that by seeing the unassuming, white glinting stars in the peace patch; that these were the first fruits that we must patiently wait to experience. So perhaps biding slowly changes into a form of abiding ...

My Margaret Fell Moment

The other day I was musing on the words that Margaret Fell is said to have used when she heard George Fox speak in Ulverston Church:

"We are all thieves, we are all thieves, we have taken the Bible in words and know nothing of the Bible in ourselves."

As I reflected, I couldn't help but change one word, making the sentence read:

"We are all thieves, we are all thieves, we have taken Quakerism in words and know nothing of Quakerism in ourselves."

And this made me feel very sad, for the fear that, despite the deep love and loyalty for Quakerism shown by Friends, that this might be true.

You, the great homesickness that we could never soothe ...

I love you, gentlest of Ways,
Who ripened us as we wrestled with you.

You, the great homesickness that we could never soothe,
You, the forest that always surrounded us,

You, the song we sang in every silence,
You, the dark net threading through us,

On the day you made us you created yourself,
And we grew sturdy in your sunlight . . .

Let your hand rest on the rim of Heaven now
And mutely bear the darkness we bring over you.

Rainer Maria Rilke

arches of stone, Light and darkness
Buildwas Abbey
Shropshire

Building A Ladder With My Discarded Prayers

"... I want! I want! ..."
by William Blake

"... Prayers like gravel
Flung at the sky's
window, hoping to attract
the loved one's
attention. But without
visible plaits to let
down for the believer
to climb up,
to what purpose open
that far casement?
I would
have refrained long since
but that peering once
through my locked fingers
I thought that I detected
the movement of a curtain ..."

‘Folk Tale’ by R. S. Thomas

It Was 60 Years Ago Today, Sgt. Pepper Taught The Band To Play!

It is 40 years since The Beatles released 'Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band'

This evening, my Dad got his 12" Vinyl copy of the album out of the cupboard and played it on the Record Player - the sound was wonderful and crisp. He bought it 40 years ago, when he was 18 years old, at the Langlands Record Shop in Wellington. Inside was still an activity sheet where you could cut out a moustache and a hat etc so you could become a member of the band, and make a stand-up set. On the back of the sleeve were all the lyrics, and Dad said he used to read along to the songs.

Amongst the crowd on the iconic album cover are my two favourite Dylan's:

Bob Dylan

and

Dylan Thomas