a new olive branch

the answer

"... There have been times when,
After long on my knees in a cold chancel,
A stone has rolled from my mind,
And I have looked in and seen the old questions
lie folded and in place by themselves,
Like the piled graveclothes of love’s risen body ..."

from ‘The Answer’ by R. S. Thomas

waiting in expectancy within maroon covers

This is a phrase often used to describe silent Quaker worship.

But sometimes it is difficult to wait in expectancy when you don't know what you're waiting for.

In an previous post, I mentioned that as an early Christmas present to myself last year I bought two books - one with a black cover (The Book of Common Prayer), and one with a maroon cover. Well, the maroon one is "The Message: Remix", a version of The New Testament in 'contemporary language'. I certainly find dipping into it reveals new layers of meaning to me. Here is how the Lord's Prayer is translated:

Our Father in heaven,
Reveal who you are.
Set the world right;
Do what's best— as above, so below.
Keep us alive with three square meals.
Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.
Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.
You're in charge!
You can do anything you want!
You're ablaze in beauty!
Yes. Yes. Yes.

Matthew 6:9-13

I wonder if the disciples clung to these words in the distraught confusion of the silence of the sabbath, when their waiting hadn't yet become waiting in expectancy ...

travelling blind

"... And Jesus was a sailor
when he walked upon the water,
And he spent a long time watching
from a lonely wooden tower.
And when he knew for certain
only drowning men could see him,
he said "All men shall be sailors then
until the Sea shall free them";
but, he himself was broken
long before the sky would open;
forsaken, almost human,
he sank beneath your wisdom like a stone.

And you want to travel with him,
and you want to travel blind,
and you think maybe you'll trust him
for he's touched your perfect body
with his mind ..."

from 'Suzanne' by Leonard Cohen

the carpenter's son

Here the hangman stops his cart:
Now the best of friends must part.
Fare you well, for ill fare I:
Live, lads, and I will die.

Oh, at home had I but stayed
'Prenticed to my father's trade,
Had I stuck to plane and adze,
I had not been lost, my lads.

Then I might have built perhaps
Gallows-trees for other chaps,
Never dangled on my own,
Had I left but ill alone.

Now, you see, they hang me high,
And the people passing by
Stop to shake their fists and curse;
So 'tis come from ill to worse.

Here hang I, and right and left
Two poor fellows hang for theft:
All the same's the luck we prove,
Though the midmost hangs for love.

Comrades all, that stand and gaze,
Walk henceforth in other ways;
See my neck and save your own:
Comrades all, leave ill alone.

Make some day a decent end,
Shrewder fellows than your friend.
Fare you well, for ill fare I:
Live lads, and I will die.

'The Carpenter's Son' - Poem XLVII from
'A Shropshire Lad' by A. E. Housman

holding in the light

video installation 'Pietà' by Sam Taylor-Wood (2001),
portraying the artist holding the actor Robert Downey Jr

the lily and the lamb

This collection of chant and polyphony from medieval england by the vocal ensemble 'Anonymous 4' has been my companion for well over a year now - ever since I discovered it in a second hand bookshop on my 30th birthday.

Hearing, three pieces in particular, sung in medieval english, snatches of detectable words suddenly hit me in the midst of the cloud of sound, and I find I slowly piece together some feeling of meaning. I find I can listen and pray, and pray whilst I'm listening, and find that listening-becomes-prayer.

The three pieces that have become dear to me, are all versions of the sequence describing Mary's experience at the foot of the Cross. I have used them devotionally, first just for their tone and sound and atmosphere and wordless poetry, but increasingly for the feeling and meaning that they evoke.

They are:

"Jesu Cristes milde moder"
("Jesus Christ's gracious mother")

I find this the most difficult of the three to listen to, with the prolonged piercing vocals
Listen to this Sequence, sung by Anonymous4 here.
Read the words and translations by scrolling to #26 on this pdf.

"... Sone after the nith of sorwen
sprong pe lith of edi morwen
me pin herte suete may,
pi sorwen wend al to blisse
po pi sone al mid-iwisse
aros hup on pe tridde day ..."

("... Son after the night of sorrows
sprang forth the light of blessed morning;
in your heart, sweet maid,
your sorrows all turned to bliss,
when on the third day
your son rose up for sure ...")


"Pe milde lomb isprad o rode"
("The gentle lamb, spread on the cross")

Takes you from despair to prayer
Listen to this Hymn, sung so delicately by Briddes Roune here.
Read the words and translations by scrolling to #29 on this pdf.

"... Feaw of hise im warn bilived
dred hem hadde im al bireved
wan pe seyen here heved
to so shanful deth ibrout ..."

("... Few of his own stayed with him;
fear had deprived him of them all
when they saw their leader
brought to such a shameful death ...")


"Stond wel, moder, under roode"
("Stand well, mother, under the cross")

A moving and humbling dialogue between mother and son.
Listen to this Sequence, sung by Anonymous4 here, and by Briddes Roune here.
Both versions give a subtly different intimacy to the Sequence.
Read the words and translations by scrolling to #27 on this pdf.

"... Moder, mai i no leng dwelle, pe time is cum i
fare to helle; pe pridde day i rise upon."
"Sun, i wille wip pee funde. I dey, iwis, of pine
wunde, so reuful ded was never non ..."

("... Mother, I can stay no longer, the time has
come that I go to hell; I rise on the third day."
"Son, I will journey with you. I die, indeed, of
your wounds, there was never any death
so pitiful ...")

Pieta from the Good Shepherd Church,
White Rock, BC, Canada.

I was moved by the portrayal of Jesus' left hand here,
and I recalled this piece from
'The Protecting Veil' by John Tavener

trying to console the unconsolable

During Lent I have surprised myself in being able to make the time on a number of evenings to have some pause, quiet and reflection just before I go to bed. I light a candle, say a few prayers, read a short passage from the Bible (using a mix of translations), read from the Book of Common Prayer, and have some silence.

Tonight, on the fifth anniversary of the Iraq invasion, I will use as a starting point, a leaflet I received recently from Fellowship of Reconciliation - Christian Peace Witness for Iraq - extracts from which I share here:

in recalling the suffering of the people of Iraq,
in repenting for the role my nation has played,
in challenging the silence of our Churches,
in praying for forgiveness and healing and that we commit ourselves to action for peace with justice for the people of Iraq and neighbouring countries.

"... Thus saith the LORD; A voice was heard in Ramah, lamentation, and bitter weeping; Rahel weeping for her children refused to be comforted for her children, because they were not ..." Jeremiah 31:15 (King James Version)

"... why have you treated us like this, beaten us nearly to death? We hoped for peace— nothing good came from it; We looked for healing— and got kicked in the stomach ..."
Jeremiah 14:18-19 (The Message)


when we remember Jesus' path to the Cross - the betrayal, the torture, the abandonemnt - remember the people of Iraq:

Loving God,
We pray for ourselves:
that we may be the body
of Christ, saying "No" to war
and "Yes" to peace;
that we may be followers of the
Prince of Peace,
learning to love our enemies;
that we may be faithful disciples,
bringing good news to the poor and
release to the captive;
that we may be united by Christ's
Cross, patient and passionate, tender
and tenacious.

We pray for others:
for the people of Iraq, whose lives
and dreams are broken daily;
for the victims of torture and abuse,
and their perpetrators, whose bodies,
hearts, minds and souls are being
scarred forever;
for soldiers and their families, torn
apart by war, sacrificing more than
many of us can understand;
for communities suffering from
poverty and violence, fear
and division;
may they each know that they are
held in your love and our prayers.

We pray for your world:
that nation shall not lift up sword
against nation,
that human shall not lift up spear
against human,
and that no one shall study war,
or give in to greed, or prejudice.

We pray for peace.
Make us your peacemakers,
that we may learn in our hearts and
words and actions, in our votes and
policies and halls of governance, to
overcome hatred with love, evil with
good, and violence with peace.
We pray for peace in the name of the
One who offers us the peace of Christ,
Amen.

the living bread

Bread

Martha stayed alone
in the hot kitchen
and showed her love
the only way she knew
by baking bread.

Bread became flesh,
was broken on the cross:
the women stood by and
watched
while Mary wept.

Mothers have always wept
in times of war.
When soldier sons die
they eat no more,
yet the family still must be fed.

But the knife becomes the sword
as she cuts the bread

by Juanita Woolliscroft

from "the Friend", 14th March 2008

Pieta by Meltem Aktas

opening daffodils in a vase

unfurling the origami folds of creation






a revelation of lemon zest petals and egg yolk trumpets

palms return

Just as last year, today I attended a Palm Sunday service, with Anglican, Methodist, Chinese Christian and Quakers joining together. I still have my palm cross from last year.

And this was the tipping point of prayer - holding my new palm cross aloft and upturning my palms during prayer.

choosing the desert

sometimes there is no choice

that in choosing the desert, choosing to:

... thirst
endure the heat and the cold
encounter the bottomless darkness and the blinding light
authentically and truthfully follow our calling
immediately turn around and change direction
(='repentance')
challenge what faith, trust, belief and hope mean to us
test our leadings by confronting our fears
meeting our selves by ourselves ...

it is as if the choice has been taken out of our hands

and that the decision has already been made for us

'Christ in the Desert'
by Ivan Kramskoi

telling phrase

be still;
and know that I am,
says God.

Ps 46: 10

sorrow's lovely tear

lovely ter of lovely eye,
why dost thou me so wo?
sorful ter of sorful eye,
thou brekst my herte a-two

(lovely tear from lovely eye,
why cause such grief to me?
sorrow's tear from sorrow's eye
you break my heart apart)

from english medieval religious lyrics


there is a sorrow
to be desired:
to be
sorrow's desire

from 'dirty blue' by woven hand